In my house, I am that storm. Yup. I have lost my patience guiltily over not so serious things, like the water they spilled, the food under the table, the light being on in the bathroom, the toy box having too many toys, the list can go on. I have been that storm that looses patience when my 4 year old is curious about WHY the “rain has to come today,” the day that she wants to play outside and my only answer doesn’t make her feel better so she asks me “BUT WHY”. When I am thinking about all these other things like bills and payments, if I gave Jax his iron meds, if Lezaiah and I got our mother- daughter date, am I spending enough time with Noah, and have I paid attention to my husband AT ALL, but keep hearing “mom, mom, mom, mom” so I am quick to yell “WHAT?!” Only to see that my daughter just wanted to ask me to watch T.V with her. You know, the storm that comes when kids are just being…kids. I am not the only one who looses patience and wants to run and hide multiple days out of the week. I know that…I think sometimes it seems as if I have it all together. Like I am in control of these 4 humans. I am not.
Lets be REAL. I am a MOM who is irritated by the constant need to wipe faces and butts, I get really bothered by homework and having to help them solve the problems. I get annoyed at the “responsibility” talks and having another parent meeting to discuss some topic about safety or health. I HATE having my feelings hurt when my ideas aren’t “great” or “fun” and Kailah still gets bored. I get disappointed in myself when my own goals of “read more of something” and “organize the self” is still on my list because when you have kids they take EVERY ounce of energy from you. I too, get restless from the mundane task of parenting. Honestly, sometimes I think “WHO even said I wanted kids?” This! This is real. This is what most, if not ALL moms think about one day or another, (or everyday, no judgement). We open the door to a gust of “stuff” and that is when the storm begins to brew.
It is these small things that collect and WE as moms don’t talk about them. Its when WE as moms figure out that we have no one to be REAL with. Then its at the end of the week when WE, moms are like hurricanes, leaving nothing untouched, no words unsaid. Then WE, moms have that calm that happens after we say all those small things that were swept under the rug with the cereal. Hurting everyone nearby. “The calm that comes after the storm.”
Whew. The truth hurts. I know that I am not the only one who has been there. Regretting all that build up! Wishing to take things back… I wanted to write this blog to say that my pictures of my crafts, food and kids all capture the “good times”. I rarely share the bad times but if these walls could take hold of my camera, I’m sure I’d have some surprising pics too, captioned “Hurricane mom.”
The best person I can challenge myself to be is REAL. To deal with those– these emotions and center them on the only person who can really help, Jesus. To link up with other moms and pray about my emotions, OUR emotions and to talk about all the REAL stuff that comes with being a wife, mother, friend, leader, etc. My main goal is to ultimately see MYSELF, as Christ does. To focus my parenting, my life, on His way and His truth, and not to be overtaken by the wind or storm.
Challenge yourself to be REAL. (Whatever that means to you) Link up with a mom or two and get REAL. Be encouraged by His word and His truth and let it direct you in all things.
“ 17 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17