While my husband was away, I made it a point to start each morning in prayer and worship. Instead most mornings were started with either a nursing baby or preventing Kailah’s feet from kicking her baby brother in the head! I would then wake the other kids, get snacks ready, get the younger kids ready and then drop everyone off (except for baby Jax). To say the least, the little worship or prayer I had, was on my way back home (while dealing with morning traffic)
This week while he was gone, I held a study group for my oldest daughter and her classmates, I left my job of 13 years. I started my Doula Postpartum training– had my first shift and I began my grow group at church!
After months of praying and seeking wisdom, I decided that I would leave my job. This isn’t just any job, this was a place where I grew up. I was hired when I was 16 years old. This program where I started off defiant, unruly, stubborn (sometimes) and argumentative taught me how to be professional, well-mannered and eventually leading to the creation of a sustainable component of their program.
The Doula program is something that I’ve wanted to do for the past two years. It required 12 hours shifts, and before I was pregnant it was perfect. Shifts could be done on weekends or a weeknight. All the kids were in school so I could attend the meetings kid free. After completing all my requirements for the program and a couple of shifts, I found out I was expecting our newest addition. I felt discouraged that I would never be able to give myself fully to this program. I took some time off, to give birth and to focus on balancing having four kids. I recently joined the Doula Task Force. Well, funny how God works, just as I started attending the meetings (with the kids) the volunteers decided that another component of the program was needed and this component was Postpartum Doulas. These shifts required 2-4 hours in the day or evening. So in other words, it fit perfectly in my schedule! My group would be the first group to get the program off and running!
By faith, I decided it was time for me to do more than “sit in church”. I began my Grow Group. Funny thing is, it began when my husband was out-of-town, but because God is “growing me” I reached out for help and had babysitters to assist me while I ran my group.
What I take from this week, well 10 days, of me being on my own is how great God’s timing is, how He knows EXACTLY where we are in life and that He weaves together our desires with His will! This same week that my husband travels to India for a Missions trip to pursue God’s will in his life, is the same week doors and opportunities begin to open in mine. After years of always feeling like my career, passions and life were on hold or somehow that I would live forever in my husbands shadow, it was now my turn. Don’t get me wrong! God was and ALWAYS is in my life and has shown me my call, but this week, well this week I felt like I was actually doing it! It definitely didn’t look like how I planned it out, but I felt like God said here is what you have been asking me for “take it or leave it”.
I am not the poster child for having the best attitude when life gives me lemons. Instead of making lemonade I (sometimes) get angry and throw them at people! (metaphorically) But with all joking aside, there were so many things that I began with so much resentment or disappointment and once I checked myself, checked in with God and allowed Him to put me in my place, things began to fall in line.
This scripture spoke life to me “The end of a matter is better than its beginning and patience is better than pride”. Ecclesiastes 7:8
I feel that I’ve failed the “beginning” of a lot of things but the result is that I kept going, that I am STILL going. God isn’t looking at how we begin, just keep believing that YOU will make it to the end. So what you started off on the wrong side of the day, God wants you to know that it’s about how you finish the day!! I challenge you to pick up and keep moving!!