My first born. I remember the fear I felt finding out I was going to be a mom–a teenage mom. The uncertainty I had refusing abortion services. I hadn’t even known Jesus yet, however, I knew that was out of the question. I can still feel the flutter in my heart the first time I heard her heart beat and the happiness I felt finding out I was having a little girl. These moments will forever be engraved in my heart. Her first word, the moment she crawled and walked are all apart of my journey to motherhood. My teenage years were spent learning who I was and my dreams of who she’ll become.
This past week I found out that she has 5 more baby teeth and soon her whole mouth will be “adult” teeth! AGH. I’m not ready…I keep saying that. However, I know that God is prepping me. As her birthday approaches, she’ll be turning 9, I ask my self ” Where has the time gone”. She’s running for student council and is working on her speech. In the fall, which is just a few months from now, she’ll be entering 4th grade! She’s so smart, diligent, motivated, courageous and loving and the best part is… I have the opportunity to raise her and call her my daughter.
Now here comes worry and anxiety: the same uncertainty I felt becoming a teenage mother is one I often feel as a mother to an almost 9 year old. (You’d think I’ve become more confident!!) I worry that I’m not doing something right, or that I say the wrong things and even that I may not tell her enough how proud I am of her. I have a long list of worries…As mothers, I’m sure we all have those moments where our confidence needs a boost.
Today I’ve arrived at a place of understanding that I, myself, am still growing into a woman of virtue. That in the test and trials I go through, I am her first role model. This itself encouraged me that as I live for God, seeking him and his plans– she will. As I live righteous and according to his word–she will.
My prayer is that she becomes a virtuous woman. One who is seen and not heard. A woman that is adorn because of her fruit and faith. I desire her to go to the Father in her worry and weakness because he is our deliverer in our times of need. I want to encounter these test and trials differently and if I expect her to encounter test and trials with faith and strength, I must be her first teacher. If I want her to see God as victorious in her life, I have to start acting like He has given me victory over each battle! I can’t expect for her confidence to come from above if I’m wondering what others say about who I am as a mother! My confidence shouldn’t come from man rather it comes from my Father–the Author and Finisher of my faith.
Today I am encouraged through prayer and felt God’s presence heavily on this topic. He has given me some ways to not only nurture my growing daughter but also to gain wisdom and confidence in myself as a mother.
Nurturing a virtuous woman:
1. Meet with my daughter weekly, just the two of us. Learn her goals and hear her vision
2.Encourage her to make healthy decisions (not advise)
3. Remind her to take it all to the Father in prayer
4. Tell her I love her and that I am proud of her
5. Pray for her and pray with her
Motherhood is a journey and I’m encouraged that He is with us the whole way! Be confident in Him and keep your eyes on the Lord. (2 Chronicles 2:12)